Just thoughts.....

I have always had a hard time saving money. In fact, I don't. I spend everything I make and then wonder where in the world did it go? I have no clothes to speak of, and my nails are short and ugly. I've never had a pedicure, but I do have a lot of running shoes!! Oh, and I eat good. That's another thing. I don't like to cook very much either. I'm so over cooking!! I just find it so easy to eat a burrito and be done with it. I think that it is good to see eating as a means to fuel my body than as something that will just fuel my thighs and butt. No cake, no cookies, no ice cream. Veggies, fruit, and lean meat for me. Sounds boring, huh? I can eat the same thing day after day without getting bored, but I can not run on the same trail more than a couple times a week or I just go CRAZY!! I do believe that I am kinda wierd that way. Its so nice to be able to look at my training and know that here is an aspect of my life that is a given. It's set. So long as my gym membership is paid every month and I don't lose my running shoes, I always can go out for a run or a swim and there's nothing stopping me from at least achieving that goal each day. Nobody will come in and say,"Nope, sorry that's mine.....you can't have that swim and you owe me a long run." It's mine, all mine. Nobody wants to take it and nobody can have it. I like that about training. It's all up to us as individuals just what we can achieve. I have been lucky that I have a strong drive and lot's of will power. It's not easy to force yourself out of a warm bed at 4am to drive 2.5 hours to run 10 hours. But once you are on the road with a hot cup of coffee, and quiet with yourself, you just know that it is going to me a great day. And once on the trail, everything just works. That my friends, is what keeps me going day after day, run after run. Knowing that my running is getting and keeping me strong. I know that my heart is healthier for it and my mind is learning to dig deep when the going gets tough. When your legs and feet are super fatigued, and you are low on food and glycogen, and your water bottle is almost empty, you learn that in order to continue you must dig DEEP. And do I mean DEEP!!! I have been called a survivor and I do believe that there is so truth to that. Ultra's teach you to survive. You have to, or it "see ya later, alligator!"
Western States is in 3 short weeks. I have not had the training that I would have liked, but I will go into that race as though I have been training like a madman. I will give it all I have and then some. I will dig deep and know that I am a survivor and I will prevail. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I am so unorganized and so scattered that it makes my head spin. But that is who I am, and that is the way I will be. I will start the race and know that everything will come together as it is suppose to. I will give it my all and that is ALL I can do.


"If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves." Thomas Edison