Friday, December 23, 2011

Don't look back on 2011- focus on thriving in 2012.

I enjoyed my early morning run today.  I reflected on the past year and decided that it wasn't the best year to date.  December 2011 started out with a 50 miler that I felt fairly good about.  Mid December my girls and I were in a car accident and left the 3 of us pretty banged up.  The day before I left for my 6 day stage race in Costa Rica in late January,  I fell while running down a scree covered trail and tore my shoulder and my triceps. Leading up to Costa Rica had me feeling really fatigued and my Doctor said that my labs were off.  My Lupus numbers were climbing.  I was hoping for a good race there, but God had other plans.  Then in February, one of my daughters started having health issues and the stress from that was all consuming.  In April, I had my shoulder surgery and my running came to a shrieking halt.  The rest of the summer had me hiking and enjoying sitting at the dog park with Jada and all my dog park friends.  My left arm was soft and weak.  In June my other daughter had surgery and was battling some health issues also. Life was not happening as I had planned.  All the races and vacations that Matt and I had planned had to be cancelled.  My 100 miler in France (UTMB), that was to happen in August didn't happen because of my shoulder.  It was a very stressful year and I am glad that we are beginning a New Year in 2012.
  I feel better and I am looking forward to a great year. I am happy to say that I have won 2 of the three 50k's I have run in the last two months.  I am planning some adventures and excited to do some different races this year.  I am starting to think of a resolution that I can keep that will propel me in a positive direction.  Life is starting to look up.  Merry Christmas to all of you out there and I hope your 2012 is filled with everything good.  I have to remember to not look back- I'm not going that way!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

I will miss you forever, Dad

 Today I celebrate the life of my Dad who was taken from me too young and too soon.  He was just 60 years old.  Twenty one years ago today,  my life was turned over.  I celebrate his life today but I morn also.  In some ways he lost his battle with life years before.  Vodka took that away long before God took him.  A beautiful man filled with a creative mind, a great sense of humor, and a wonderful love of his family.

  I wish he was here to see me now.  I've grown to be someone he would be proud of.  I know that he would be proud of me, but not surprised.  I know that he watches me from above and smiles at me.  He would be so proud of my kids and would talk to everyone who would listen about what amazing adults they have become.  He would see himself in me and I think he would wish that we could spend time together again.

Thank you Dad for coming to all my boring long swim meets.  Thanks for going with me to Girl Scout camp and for buying me a horse and a horse trailer so we could go to  horse shows and overnight trail rides together.  You sacrificed so much to make me happy.  Thank you for being so generous and loving.  You were a good athlete too, Dad.  I think I got that trait from you.  I am tall and slim too, and I look a lot like you from the neck down.  No boobs, great lungs, long legs.  I look like Mom from the neck up and I have to laugh every time I see myself in the mirror.  Yes, I look exactly like Mom.  I am proud of that also.  She is a beautiful woman and I love her so much.  I am so glad that you too found each other and that I was born to both of you.  How lucky is that?

  I guess you know that I took care of Don when Pat died.  It was something I needed to do for both him and me. It was special to spend time with him. You were lucky to have him as your brother.  We had a lot of fun together and I felt so sad when Cancer took him away a few years ago.

  You were my hero and you still are.  Shawn and Wally got your creative traits.  Both of them can fix or make anything.  I on the other hand have no creative ability, but running and being outside is my passion.
  Today I am running a 50K in memory of you.  I will not cry, because crying and running don't really work together.  I've tried that, and it really sucks.  I will smile and know that you are watching me.  Thanks Dad for everything good and bad that we shared together.  It has made me the person that I am.  I am strong and determined and will never forget you.  RIP Dad.  12-10-1990.