Running Free

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I have a secret I must confess: every once in awhile, especially since I have been laid up with an injury, I read POSTSECRET. Check it out if you want.

Today is a terribly rainy day with high winds. My toe is sore and I am feeling kinda blah today. I wish I could get out and feel the rain on my face, but it's just not going to happen. I think I am starting to feel a little sorry for myself. I am having my own secret pity party.

Last week, when I was feeling a little bit overwhelmed with my post recovery situation, I noticed a guy at the gym that I have seen many times before. He walks with a horrible limp and the sole of his right shoe is built up and taller than the left. He ambulates with a back and forth motion. Here I was feeling fed up with this ugly surgical shoe, my back aching and my heel throbbing, and I see him. He lives his life with this condition. He can not run. He has a very skinny right leg that will never be strong. He has lived and will live the rest of his life with this deformity. I realized how shallow I was that day. In a month I will be back to running and living my normal life. Soon, I will forget that I even had the surgery. On the other hand, this guy will continue on with a situation he can't control or change.

I had a choice to have this surgery. He does not get a choice. I am sorry that I am so shallow that I could even feel sadness for myself. Today, with the wind howling and the rain pelting down, I am thankful that I am whole and healthy. I am thankful for this downtime and for the life that I have.

3 comments:

Carilyn said...: Kelly, what a great blog! I am so sorry about your foot. It is hard to rest, isn't it. I feel your pain.

Thank you for checking in on me. It was a couple of scary months. I'll keep checking on you!

Carilyn; October 14, 2009 at 8:54 AM
HEATHERRUNS said...: Great post. It certainly takes others situations to put ours into perspective. As a Physio, I see it all the time. Some people can barely walk or get out of bed due to pain...and It is a bit uncomfortable when they ask me about my weekend- where I ran for 4 hrs and did a million other things. It is refreshing to see your thankfulness. You WILL heal, and you will be back at your adventures!; October 14, 2009 at 1:20 PM
Deanna Stoppler said...: Only one more month and you will run! Hang in there!; October 18, 2009 at 6:27 AM

Post a Comment

Not Even Lupus Can Slow Ridgway

NOT EVEN LUPUS CAN SLOW RIDGWAY Published on June 26, 2004 © 2004- The Press Democrat BYLINE: BRUCE MEADOWS Three years ago when she was diagnosed with lupus, Kelly Ridgway didn't take much time plotting her course. ``I figured I could lay on the couch and be a drug-seeker for pain or I could choose to be as healthy as I can be,'' said Ridgway, 46, an outpatient surgery nurse at Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital. Ridgway, defying the odds, is entered in the Western States 100 Endurance Run, which starts at the base of Squaw Valley at 5 this morning and ends 100 miles away in Auburn. ``I see people at the hospital in horrible shape because of lupus, but I realized I had a choice how to deal with it,'' Ridgway said. Lupus is a chronic auto-immune disease affecting mainly women. The immune system attacks the body's own tissues as a foreign substance, producing antibodies to fight it. The cause of the disease is unknown although research has shown it occurs when a specific set of susceptible genes is exposed to a combination of environmental factors such as infectious agents, certain drugs, excessive ultraviolet light, physical trauma or emotional stress. Ridgway said she has been a ``serious runner'' for 14 years and has also competed in 50- and 100-mile events on horseback. She started running to get in shape after the last of her three children -- Caleb (18), Chelsea (16) and Courtney (14) -- were born. ``I've found I really love ultras,'' said Ridgway, a single mother who graduated from Montgomery High, then earned a nursing degree from Santa Rosa JC. Dr. Lisa Kremer, Ridgway's rheumatologist said, fatigue is the most universal symptom of lupus. ``For somebody to run 100 miles with an auto-immune disease is incredible.'' Ridgway first experienced flu-like symptoms, then fatigue. ``But when I started having problems with cognitive stuff, I knew there was something more to it.'' She was having trouble doing simple math or even finding her way around town. ``I thought of all sorts of things, including a brain tumor,'' said Ridgway. Ridgway has been training with Santa Rosan Karen Hanke, 42, and Suzanna Bon, 39 of Sonoma. This is the second Western States for Hanke, who finished last year in 29 hours, 47 minutes, running the last 70 miles on severely blistered feet. It is the first Western States for Ridgway and Bon. Because of the glut of applicants -- more than 1,000 annually apply for 400 spots -- runners must not only qualify with an acceptable 50-mile run time but also get lucky by having their name drawn by lot. Bon, whose goal is ``just to finish although I'd love to do it in under 24 hours,'' is impressed with Ridgway's effort. ``Kelly is strong and smart about training,'' said Bon. ``We'll run at our own pace this weekend, not together, but we want to do the best we can.'' Ridgway sees herself as a runner who happens to have lupus. ``My case is relatively minor and medication has really helped,'' said Ridgway, who logs 75 miles a week. ``But I don't know anybody with lupus who runs as much as I do.'' She has bouts of fatigue and deals with them. ``There are days I am really tired and need to come home and rest for a while,'' she said. But this weekend there will no place to rest. ``I'm not the type to quit,'' she said. ``I will persevere.'' Kremer said people with lupus react differently to the disease. ``Some have a real tough time with it and others take it as a challenge,'' said the doctor. ``In general, a disease like lupus provokes self-evaluation ... some patients look at it as a way to straighten out their lives, physically and socially.'' Kremer said most lupus patients with a positive outlook exercise to some degree. ``For them, making an effort is a personal victory.'' Ridgway, who left for Squaw Valley Thursday, has been on the Western States course before, having competed in the Tevis Cup horse race and also working the run the past two years as a medical helper. ``It's beautiful ... I fell in love with the trail,'' she said. ``I'm excited but not nervous.'' Ridgway will be tested following the race to determine how running 100 miles affects a lupus patient. ``I know I am capable of doing this.'' She likes to run, even 100 miles, because it makes her feel healthy and alive. ``Maybe in some ways this will speak to people who are trying to make choices,'' she said. ``You can push ahead and take charge of your life.''