Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Strength and Survival

I cried on my way to work today. That's funny because I do not cry often. I almost never cry in front of people. I'm not really sure why. I'd like to think that I am just a strong person who cries when alone and doesn't like to show emotions in front of others. I feel sadness and pain, but I don't often show it.

This morning I cried as I thought of my Father. He has been dead for 17 years. He died at the young age of 60. He was an alcoholic. You have to be strong when you are a child of an alcoholic. You learn to be a survivor. You learn to hide your emotions. For many years prior to my Dad's passing, he struggled with a condition that destroyed his self respect and his dignity. He became a person he never wanted to be. He lost everything. That makes me cry. My heart breaks when I think of what he had and what he lost.

In December 1980, I made a New Years resolution to quit drinking. I was not a "drinker," but with my genetics, I thought that would be a good resolution. It has been 27 years since that day, and I have never had a sip since. I'd like to think that my Dad's drinking was his gift to me. As a result, I became who I am today. You need to be strong to be an ultra runner. Thanks, Dad, for making me strong and for the gift of life.


Lisa B said...

Hi Kelly,
It is soulful of you to honor your dad with his picture, words, and emotion. Your thanking him for helping to instill in you your qualities of strength is very touching. I'm sure he is very proud of you.
Hugs, Lisa

kelly said...

Thanks, Lisa. My Dad was a very special man. I still miss him every day.