Monday, August 18, 2008
Courtney move to USC happens tomorrow. There, I've said it. It's happening. My heart is heavy, sad, empty, knowing that my baby is moving on. College bound, 8 long driving hours away. Her stuff is almost packed. We are checking the list and then checking it twice. What else do we need to pick up? Courtney is my youngest, my last born. She was part of our and God's perfect plan for us. We have been blessed abundantly.
Courtney is a red-headed, bright and articulate 18 year old. She is brighter than I ever dreamed of being and she is an avid reader. She is not afraid to speak her mind and she is beautiful. Wow, she is my baby girl.
Courtney's boyfriend, Cameron is going away to a different College. He is going to UC Santa Barbara. They will be about 2 hours away from each other. He starts school next month. I know that they are both hurting inside. They can already feel the others absence. They cling to each other as if they are part of a lifeline. It is heavy on my heart to know that they will grieve for the loss of the other. They have been together for two years. Cameron is a part of our family and Courtney a part of his.
This heaviness I feel is awkward. I sit at this computer and write. I want to run, but I don't want to be away from my daughter. Even though she is asleep, I know that she is here. I'm afraid to leave this house. My time with her is limited.
My heart is heavy but joyful too. I am confident that she will soar. We have given her wings and now we will watch her fly. Fly away, baby girl, but please come back. I will miss you, sweetie. We will keep the light on for you.