Thursday, November 20, 2008

I ran alone today

I ran alone today and loved every minute of it. I have become so use to running with friends that sometimes it is hard to get myself up and out the door to run by myself. It was a cool, damp, and foggy morning and the air was so fresh that it was exhilarating. My feet moved quickly and lightly as I ran along, careful of the Newt's that were out enjoying the damp trails. I ran without my ipod and enjoyed the sounds that I heard and it made me more keenly aware of the deer and the squirrels that live in this park. I was reminded how much I love running alone today. I reflected on my life and even shed a few tears.

I ran past the spot where my best friend in High School was murdered by a psychopath in 1978. She was 21 years old. I wondered how her life would be now if she had been given another chance at life. I was on a road trip in Iowa with my Mom and siblings when my Dad called to give us the horrible news. I will never forget that day.

I thought about my health and how lucky I am to be so fit. I thought about what makes us who we are and how I have gotten to this point in my life. I thought about the love I have for my children. Yes, I have spoiled them. I have spoiled them because I have loved them so much, that I want them to have everything I had and everything I never had. When you have children, it seems that you just can't give them enough. So you love them, and then love them some more. The love is so deep that it can take your breath away.

I also thought about my diet today. I am eating low carbs and enjoying every minute of it. I have found that a low carb diet makes you less bloated, more lean, and makes you feel damn fast. Yeah, it's true. I feel really fit right now and I am pretty sure it's this low carb thing.

Today I thought about my dad and that the anniversary of his death is quickly approaching. He was only ten years older than I am right now, but he really died long before his real death. (Does that make sense?) He was a man who had it all and then lost it all. He was loved by everyone, and then he became almost unlovable. Alcohol can do that to a person. Vodka was his lifeline and it led him to his demise. I know I have talked about this before on my blog. I don't want to be redundant, but it is an important message that I think is crucial to talk about. Substance abuse of any kind ruins lives. Not only yourself but everyone around you. Am I angry? You betcha I am. I got screwed out of having a father who was "there". My parents split up because of alcohol. I feel cheated, letdown, and empty at times because of what alcohol did to my family. My father was powerless to the addiction to Vodka. He became a person he never wanted to become. I hate that his life was cut so short because of a clear, odorless poison that ruled his life. I tell you all this story, because it is what I think about when I run. If it helps anyone to take a look at their life and change things for the better, than I have made a difference. I am who I am because of what my life has been made of. I was so lucky to have been so loved as a child. Both of my parents made loving us a priority, just as I have done to my kids. We could not have been loved more. I am thankful to my Mom for providing that balance when my Dad could not love us enough. I know I am rambling. Sorry.

Lastly, I thought about how lucky I am to be a runner and to live in such a beautiful area. I am so happy for my health and I was reminded yesterday at work when two of my patients under 30 years old, had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Take a moment and reflect on your life. Change the things you can and make a conscious effort to change the things that you might think are unchangeable. Make today count. Start exercising and eating healthier. Stop smoking, drinking or whatever your vice is that is keeping you from being the best you can be. We are given today. That is all we know for sure. Happy trails, my friends.

Listen to those inner signals that help you make the right choices-no matter what anyone thinks.


Courtney said...

Momma that was beautiful. You are so right and it's so easy to forget that we have today and in the big scheme of things, all these little road bumps are nothing compared to the gift of this day. Love you so much.

Drs. Cynthia and David said...

Hi Kelly,

(I spelled it right this time!) I too lost my parents long before their time, but not to drug or alcohol problems, but to heart disease. It's a problem that is near and dear to my heart, and like you, I appreciate my health very much. It's not something you can afford to take for granted. I'm still trying to make up for past dietary mistakes however.

I was surprised to hear that you are experimenting with a low carb diet. Very interesting. I'd like to hear more about it sometime. For endurance running, it shouldn't matter too much- you're already running efficiently on fat- but it you feel noticeably better, that is pretty neat.

Thanks for sharing.


kelly said...

Hey Court, thanks for posting to my blog. I love you so much, sweetie. I hope your finger feels better. See you in a couple.

kelly said...

Hi Cynthia, thank you so much for reading my blog. I enjoy your blog so much. I am sorry about your parents. I am sure that is one of the reasons you are so aware of taking good care of yourself. I have experimented with a low carb diet off and on for a couple of years now. I do believe it is the best diet for me and now I will really have to read your blog more closely to find out why it works so well!

olga said...

And the solo runs are really good like that...reflection and thanksfulness. So much to be blessed for - and to give back and bless others. Thanks for sharing, Kelly.

olga said...

Your daughter has a beautiful mind.

kelly said...

I hope you are doing well, Olga. How is your hip? I am excited for you and Larry. Have a great weekend. Oh and yes, my daughter does have a beautiful mind. Thank you very much.

Victoria said...

Great post-- I appreciate reading your blog and its positive energy! I hope your daughter's puppy is ok as well!

kelly said...

Thanks, Victoria. Have a great Thanksgiving!! Don't eat too much.

Sunshine Girl said...

Hi Kelly, WOW...all of that from one solo run?!? You should run by yourself more often! Thanks for sharing, I appreciate your words!