Saturday, November 1, 2008
My name is Kelly and I am a square
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference."
This quote from an unknown author made me think today. As I mentioned in my last post, I have been dealing with a medication to treat my severe Restless Leg Syndrome. It is a nasty med with lot's of side affects. For someone like me, who hates taking any drugs for any reason, this has really tested me. On one hand, I am desperate for a good night sleep EVERY night. On the other hand, I cannot justify taking medication that is dangerous and makes you into someone you don't want to be for a night of sleep.
I do not do drugs and I do not drink alcohol. I am a square. Period. I have seen first hand what drugs and alcohol do to families and people. My heart and soul has bled out into the streets as I watched my Dad drink himself to ruin. I have cried and promised myself a life without anyone or anything controlling me. When I watched my Dad spiraling down into a life beyond belief, I made a promise to never drink again. That was 27 years ago and I have held true to that promise. Today, while I was on day 5 of this new drug, I made a decision to toss those suckers in the circular file. I am done with them. Kaput. Over. I will research other options and figure out what is best for me. I am so happy that I am the type of person that I am. I am a strong woman. I love the person that I am. (well, mostly). I do not want to change or alter my personality and who I am, because I like me. No, I don't want to feel lethargic and compulsive. I want to feel energized and excited for each new day. I want to LIVE and that is what I am going to do. Sleep or no sleep. God gave me the ability to run and for that I am so thankful. It has helped me run from my problems and has helped me run towards happiness. I am blessed that I am a runner and I really need to feel positive about that gift, even if my legs continue to run in my sleep.
Thanks for listening my friends.