Saturday, November 1, 2008

My name is Kelly and I am a square

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference."

This quote from an unknown author made me think today. As I mentioned in my last post, I have been dealing with a medication to treat my severe Restless Leg Syndrome. It is a nasty med with lot's of side affects. For someone like me, who hates taking any drugs for any reason, this has really tested me. On one hand, I am desperate for a good night sleep EVERY night. On the other hand, I cannot justify taking medication that is dangerous and makes you into someone you don't want to be for a night of sleep.

I do not do drugs and I do not drink alcohol. I am a square. Period. I have seen first hand what drugs and alcohol do to families and people. My heart and soul has bled out into the streets as I watched my Dad drink himself to ruin. I have cried and promised myself a life without anyone or anything controlling me. When I watched my Dad spiraling down into a life beyond belief, I made a promise to never drink again. That was 27 years ago and I have held true to that promise. Today, while I was on day 5 of this new drug, I made a decision to toss those suckers in the circular file. I am done with them. Kaput. Over. I will research other options and figure out what is best for me. I am so happy that I am the type of person that I am. I am a strong woman. I love the person that I am. (well, mostly). I do not want to change or alter my personality and who I am, because I like me. No, I don't want to feel lethargic and compulsive. I want to feel energized and excited for each new day. I want to LIVE and that is what I am going to do. Sleep or no sleep. God gave me the ability to run and for that I am so thankful. It has helped me run from my problems and has helped me run towards happiness. I am blessed that I am a runner and I really need to feel positive about that gift, even if my legs continue to run in my sleep.

Thanks for listening my friends.


doodlestreet said...

Can I join your square club? You and I are the same on the drinking and meds for the same reasons. (Sailor fathers...oh boy). ;o)

Hey, I have RLS too...I don't use meds, just walk it off (if I can), some deep knee bends and a couple slaps on the leg kinda tones it down. Or if you have someone that can rub it for you, that seems to help some. It's a drag, I know. My brother calls that "riding dirt bike and shifting in your sleep!" Except, we're awake. That's the problem.

HappyTrails said...

Yep, we are "squares", too. I think there are more of us out there than we think! I've had some experience with meds that work for the condition (for me, some EIA) but the side affects aren't worth the help. Get off the stuff! I do hope you can find something to help you sleep but leave the bad affects behind. Keep your chin up and keep up your great running - hopefully the sleep running will slow down!

kelly said...

Thanks for the note, Doodlestreet. My RLS is so severe that I thrash and arch and hyperextend my body about every two minutes all night long. It is really quite painful. I saw my Doc tonight at the gym and told him that I was done with the meds. He agreed with me. Maybe acupuncture is next. Hope you are well!

kelly said...

Hi Kathleen, thanks for reminding me that there are a lot of "squares" around. We are all just really cool squares! Yeah, I'm feeling better today and will start to figure out other alternatives to help me sleep better. I ordered one of your cute skirts tonight. I'll let you know how I like it. Hope you are doing well.

Relaxed said...

I have found that natural oils have worked great for my severe RLS. I haven't taken meds in a little over a year.

Drs. Cynthia and David said...

Hi Kelly,

I don't know if it will help your RLS, but you might try melatonin. I've tried it recently for help with sleep and it works well for me. At least it is natural and doesn't have side effects (except maybe more dreams).

Keep up the great running (preferably when you are awake!).


kelly said...

Hi Relaxed! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and for the advice. I am up for trying anything so we will see! Have a great day.

kelly said...

Hi Cynthia,
Thanks for commenting. I will try Melatonin and see if that helps. I just love your blog. I found it and immediately got absorbed into it. Thanks for great info.

Drs. Cynthia and David said...

Thanks Kelly. I hope the melatonin helps. It makes me sleepy but not in a drugged way and I wake up feeling normal. I've slept better since starting to use it (the 3 mg dosage from Costco). I used to get itches and agitated legs (maybe that is RLS), especially when staying up too late, but it's helping so far.